Marilyn... A song of fear and worry

Official Music Video: October 19, 2019

We all have experienced times sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for test results. In my case, there happened to be a picture of Marilyn Monroe on the wall. I thought about how Marilyn had a smile on her face no matter what was going on in her life. I was putting up a good front in front of everyone, but I was really scared. I am one of the lucky ones.

Song Lyrics

©Francine Honey (SOCAN)

A picture on the doctor’s wall,
Blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes
Marilyn you were my idol, Now I know why

Troubled inside
To the world, you showed only grace
All curves and conviction, Lipstick on a smiling face

I need to be like you today,
Sittin’ here wondering what the doctor will say

I look alright on the outside,
I may not be fine.

Tell me I’m not dying on the inside

Pictures of all kinds of women,
Surround you there on the walls
Some with flat chests, some with no hair,
Proud to show it all

Marilyn, I need your courage,
I guess that’s why you are there
They may take my flesh, I may lose my hair
Please help me prepare

Repeat Chorus

You took your own life Marilyn,
I’m gonna fight for mine
Gonna fight for life, Gonna fight for time
I need more time

I need to be like you today
Sittin’ here wondering what the doctor will say
I look fine on the outside, I may not be fine.
Tell me I’m not dying inside
Tell me

Listen to Official Audio

  1. Marilyn Francine Honey 4:58

How I Wrote It – Live Acoustic Video

From the Album: to be continued…
Album Release: Oct. 12, 2018

I was petrified waiting for my test results. I am one of the lucky ones. My family has been touched by Cancer as have so many.

How did this song make you feel?

26 Responses

  1. Another great song. The most impressive thing about your songs is your Voice and the fact that everyone can relate in one form or another. Another one that hits home! I’m proud to say that I receive my one year breast cancer free!

  2. Such an amazing song..brings back so many memories of waiting with my Mom for all her test results and then treatments and more test results…it it a very stressful time but we tried to always stay positive and leave it in the hands of the Good Lord above.
    Thank you so much Francine….

  3. Such a beautiful song . If or when we have to sit at Doctor office waiting..will think of this Song and you singing with your velvety voice. Thank you .

  4. The “C” word…I worked with patients as an oncology homecare nurse…I took care of my father and watched it diminish him, bit by bit…I have had it brush by with a warning shot…it’s like a great white shark…lurking. It took my very best friend 25 years ago…I am so happy for your good result, Francine. The waiting is a scary time and you have captured all the emotion in your song… may we also all face with courage, the challenges life gives us, and hold on to each other on the journey…

    1. Very wise words Martha. Thanks for sharing your experiences. My brother-in-law Ken died at 32 of brain cancer. Hugs…Francine

  5. Francine, waiting can be challenging and putting your’s into a song is wonderful!

    My waiting, at times, involved rug hooking when my daughter, then 11 years old, had a treatment plan that lasted 115 weeks (chemo and radiation). Then, 5 years of follow up appointments. Thankfully, she is now 30 and healthy. Pancreatic cancer took my mom. So many of us have been affected by cancer. Thankfully you did not have to embark your own cancer journey.

    Beautiful song.

    1. Thanks Sheilah. So far so good and my fingers are crossed! I am so happy to hear that you daughter is ok but that sounds like quite a journey. I can’t imagine the helplessness you must have felt for a child. Heartwrenching. Thanks for sharing….Francine

  6. Hi Francine,

    I have been away up Toronto way, helping our family so I am a little behind in watching your videos. My daughter and son in law were away on vacation. Our daughter in law is continuing her breast cancer recovery. Last week had the first of 2 operations for breast reconstruction so this song hits home with me too. Not to mention I was named after Marilyn Monroe. She was a budding star at the time I was born. See you soon.

    1. Thanks for listening and sharing your story Marilyn. I’m glad your daughter in law is in the recovery phase and I hope her surgeries go well. Big hugs…Francin

  7. Ahh, people please consider reaching out to your family, friends when going through such troubling times . . . I only say this because the loss of my younger brother last year to a “sudden” cancer (quotes because he’d been trying unsuccessfully for six months at the least to uncover what was taking him down, taking him out) left me very little time to be with him. I didn’t know of his struggle til 3 weeks before he passed & even though hours & an international border separated us would have given anything for more time with him, for the chance to support him in his struggle more closely, more presently.

    Poignant & so deeply moving, Francine, thank you for helping me weep.

    1. Oh Nancy. I am so sorry that you had such little time near the end. I trust that the time you did have with him will give you some comfort. Thank you for sharing! Sending you love…francine

  8. Another beautiful one that I had the privilege of hearing you perform live at The Bank theatre Brings a lot emotions to the surface.

    1. Thanks Jill. Yes, the Bank Theatre is a great venue for me to try out new songs. I listen for the reactions and that helps me know if I am on the mark with a song or not. Thanks for listening.

  9. This is a beautiful song Francine. I’m so glad you are not dealing with the horribleness of cancer. Losing my friend to cancer in the very near future will be my first experience where the void will be felt in such a deep and profound way. My father died when I was 12 but somehow this is different. I’m not even sure why? Your song talks about time and that is what I think about when it comes to my friend. She needs more time to do all the things she talked about before her death sentence was given to her. I need more time with her. Time really is so precious. Thanks for this beautiful song.

    1. Yes Arlene, time is precious. My brother-in-law died so brain cancer when he was only 32 leaving my sister and her 7 year old son behind. That sure gave me a new perspective and I say in the song, I was very worried and felt such a need to get my songs recorded because you never know what will happen. Hugs to you…Francine

  10. The song makes me feel like the cards you are dealt with in life with are not known in advance. A mix of feelings are evoked, mostly sorrow and hope.

  11. WOW. Song beyond amazing. So intimate, so terrifying, so courageous, so . . . Thank you so much for giving me the gift of your perspective through this song. Thank you for making me more aware . . .

    I look forward to song becoming public so I can send my Daughter-in-law the link. She is mother of my 2 grandsons both under the age of 2 and this past year she has had several stage 3 forms of melanoma suddenly appear. She attributes it to tanning beds which she had spent way too much time in. While immediate treatments have been successful she will be waiting for many results as time passes. An aggressive form. A haunting wait.

    1. Haunting indeed Catherine. That is a great description. Thank you for sharing and I hope that they are able to successfully treat her. Hugs…Francine

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Francine Honey: Lead and Background Vocals
Beth Nielsen Chapman: Background Vocals
Will Kimbrough: Electric Guitar, Background Vocals
Kris Donegan: Acoustic and Electric Guitars
Dan Mitchell: Keys, Fluglehorn. Background Vocals
Dean Marold: Bass
Neilson Hubbard: Drums, Percussion, Background Vocals
Eamon McLoughlin: Fiddle

Dylan Alldredge : Recording Engineer
Recorded at Skinny Elephant Recording, Nashville, TN
Mixed by Dylan Alldredge and Neilson Hubbard
Produced by Neilson Hubbard
Mastered by Jim DeMain at YES Master
Photos by Neilson Hubbard and Joshua Britt
Artwork by Kyle Atkinson, Craft Design House
© ℗ 2018 Francine Honey (SOCAN) Published by SongsByFrancine